Question:
What is the difference between content and process?

Answer:
Understanding the difference between content and process is essential—especially in communication, relationships, and personal change.

Content:
This refers to what the conversation or issue is about. In a disagreement, for example, the content could be anything—money, parenting, chores, schedules, etc. It’s the subject matter, the topic on the surface.

Process:
This is about how the interaction unfolds—the underlying pattern or structure behind the scenes. When you step back and observe multiple arguments or situations, you might notice the same sequence repeating itself: one person makes a comment, the other feels criticized, emotions escalate, and past grievances get dragged into the mix.
This is the process—the recurring communication pattern that plays out regardless of the specific topic.

So, while the content changes (money, kids, housework), the process—the way the interaction is managed—often stays the same.

Why this matters:
Once you identify and change the process, you can prevent the same negative patterns from repeating—even when new content arises. Changing the strategy behind the interaction can transform a wide range of outcomes.

Real-life example:
People often use the same internal strategy (process) across different situations. For example, the approach someone uses to motivate their child might not be effective with a coworker or partner.

I used to struggle with learning dance. I thought I just wasn’t built for it. But during an NLP training, I realized I was using the same learning method I used for studying books—mainly visual and internal dialogue (auditory digital). When I switched to a method that involved more movement and physical awareness (visual and kinesthetic strategy), it suddenly became easy.
The problem wasn’t the content (dancing), but the process I was using to learn it.

Summary:

• Content = What (the topic or subject)
• Process = How (the structure or pattern)
• To improve outcomes, change the process—even when the content varies.