According to Virginia Satir, roughly 0.5% of people typically adopt the distracter attitude. These individuals behave as if the answers “yes,” “no,” or anything else don’t really matter.

A distracter tends to shift unpredictably between the other three Satir stances (placater, blamer, and computer), effectively deflecting responsibility from themselves, others, and the situation. Their behavior can come across as playful, amusing, or even confusing. In conversation, distracters often use humor or silliness to capture attention or lighten the mood. Their physical gestures are usually asymmetrical—one arm raised while the other drops, or their head tilted—creating an unbalanced posture.

Think of flirting or young children: asymmetrical body language like standing on one leg or leaning casually is common and can be quite engaging. A stiff, perfectly symmetrical posture tends to feel less approachable or lively. Most people naturally adopt this kind of stance at times, especially when trying to be playful or flirtatious.

Distracters often change the subject to unrelated topics and may move different parts of their body independently, giving off a sense of unpredictability and readiness to spring into action. This behavior can be a useful tactic in negotiations when facing a tough opponent.

This distracter approach can provoke a “computer” (super reasonable) response from others, as when parents try to calm an excited child: “Stop acting so silly!”

While this stance is great for playful interaction or flirting, it’s not ideal when you want to be seen as serious and professional, such as during a job interview. It can sometimes feel aimless or unfocused.

Example of a Distracter in Action

If a distracter arrived late to a meeting, they might stroll in casually, flop into a chair, accidentally spill their bag’s contents, and say:

“Oh no, I’ve got a hole in my sock! Hey, did you hear about Mr. Smith from accounting? Got caught red-handed in the copier room! And I love that new painting in the lobby. I went to the fireworks show over the weekend—ended up so wasted I couldn’t find my way home!”