Virginia Satir proposed that about 15% of people commonly adopt the computer attitude. These individuals tend to avoid giving clear “yes” or “no” answers and rarely reveal their true feelings or desires.

The computer personality shifts responsibility away from both themselves and others, instead focusing on the situation or context. They strive to respect the circumstances and remove personal involvement from the equation. Their speech often includes omissions, especially lost performatives, which are statements missing the source of the opinion.

When someone uses a computer stance in conversation, it usually prompts a logical, thoughtful response from listeners—or sometimes boredom—because overly abstract or detached language can make people’s attention drift quickly.

Physically, computers often gesture with a hand on the chin (reminiscent of Rodin’s famous statue The Thinker) or cross their arms, signaling detachment from the topic. Their communication style is analytical and emotionally distant, relying heavily on precise, reasoned language—often described as auditory-digital processing. They strive to remain calm, composed, and careful with words to avoid mistakes, but this emotional disconnection can act as a barrier to genuine feeling.

This detached stance may provoke others to respond with a distracter attitude, even if they don’t usually do so.

From personal experience, trying to share emotions with someone in this computer mode can be very frustrating—it’s like talking to a machine. This dynamic is often seen in conversations between men and women: she may feel she’s speaking to a robot who just doesn’t grasp why she’s upset, while he grows more “reasonable” as her emotions rise. Sound familiar?

Example of a Computer in Action

If a computer-person were late to a meeting, they might enter, collect their documents, and say:

“What topics have been addressed so far? I see item six on the agenda concerns the customer service survey. I have the relevant reports here in my briefcase for your review.”