Complex equivalences occur when we form beliefs based on generalizations, equating two separate experiences as if they are inherently connected. For example, assuming that someone avoiding eye contact means they are being dishonest. These links are often weak and can lead to misunderstandings.

Recognizing the connections we’ve unconsciously made can be liberating. I once worked with a client who believed her coworkers disrespected her because they didn’t invite her to lunch. By equating respect with social inclusion, she distanced herself from her colleagues, reinforcing her own belief in a self-fulfilling cycle.

Common Examples of Complex Equivalences:

• “Now that I’ve won the contract, all my problems are solved.”
• “If you’re not wealthy by 30, you never will be.”
• “I don’t have the resilience to succeed in sales.”
• “He didn’t smile at me, so he must hate me.”
• “I wasn’t hired because they don’t respect women.”
• “He mowed the lawn—he must finally be acting responsibly.”

Challenging These Beliefs with Meta Model Questions

Similar to cause-and-effect assumptions, complex equivalences reveal a person’s internal model of the world. The Meta Model technique challenges these links by questioning the relationship between the two ideas.

• “In what way does getting the contract solve all your problems?”
• “How exactly is age linked to financial success?”
• “Does every successful salesperson have a thick skin? Are all resilient people good at sales?”
• “What makes you associate a lack of smiling with hatred?”
• “If they did respect women, would that guarantee you the job?”
• “What does mowing the lawn have to do with being responsible?”

By questioning these assumptions, we can break limiting beliefs and develop a more flexible, empowering perspective.