The double bind is a powerful conversational hypnosis method often used—sometimes unknowingly—by parents, salespeople, and persuaders. It works by offering two options, both leading to the same intended outcome.
The Illusion of Choice
By structuring a conversation to create an illusion of choice, you increase the likelihood of cooperation. Instead of seeking alternatives, the other person focuses on selecting the least undesirable option.
For instance:
- Would you like to take your bath before or after dinner?
- Would you prefer to pay with cash or credit?
In both cases, the underlying assumption is that the child will take a bath and the customer will make a purchase. These presuppositions work best when accepted at an unconscious level—something that hypnosis can facilitate.
However, not everyone falls for this approach:
- “Actually, I’m not taking a bath. I prefer my pond-scum aroma.”
- “I’m not buying anything, so your tactic won’t work on me.”
Catch-22: A No-Win Scenario
You may have heard the term Catch-22, which is a variation of a double bind. It presents two choices, both unfavorable, with no option to opt out.
Children often experience this due to their limited power. A parent might say, “You can either clean your room now or after dinner,” when, in reality, the child has no real choice but to comply.
Similarly, a consumer may encounter this when they urgently need something—like being stuck at 3 AM with an empty printer and the only store open charging a premium for ink.
No-Win Situations in Life
Many people unintentionally create double binds in their own lives. They feel trapped between two undesirable options, such as:
- “I despise my job, but quitting means financial instability.”
- “I’m unhappy in my marriage, but I fear being alone.”
Therapeutic Applications
Milton Erickson, a pioneer in hypnosis and psychotherapy, leveraged double binds to guide resistant clients into a trance state and introduce change. This approach was particularly useful for individuals prone to opposition—those who reflexively counter whatever they’re told.
For example, instead of instructing a resistant client directly, Erickson might say:
- “I’m not sure if you’ll make this change immediately or if it will happen over the next week.”
This shifts the focus from whether the change will occur to when it will.
Many struggles stem from resistance to change. However, by framing choices strategically, people can feel a sense of control. Take procrastination, for example:
- “I don’t want to do my taxes, but waiting until the last minute will be even worse.”
In this way, the person chooses the lesser discomfort and moves forward while maintaining a sense of agency.
Would you like to apply these principles today or tomorrow? 😉
