Question:

I found your article on modeling quite insightful.
How would you go about modeling someone you don’t personally know — for example, someone you’ve seen on television, someone in a different department at work, or even a neighbor? In many cases, you can’t approach these people directly or ask personal questions to understand them deeply.

Answer:

As children, we naturally learn through modeling. It’s a built-in mechanism that allows us to pick up gestures, behaviors, speech patterns, and thought processes from those we consider important — all without conscious effort. This unconscious imitation forms the foundation of our early learning.

However, this type of learning can be a mixed bag. For instance, if a child idolizes a famous athlete, they might not only copy the athlete’s playing style but also less desirable traits like swearing or unrelated quirks. The process is largely undirected — we absorb everything, useful or not.

Modeling with NLP

As we grow, we may attempt to refine this process by learning from various people. Yet, without a structured approach, it remains somewhat hit-or-miss. This is where NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) modeling stands out. NLP offers a systematic way to identify and replicate the essential elements of a skill — such as sensory modalities, thought patterns, body language, mental strategies, and belief systems — while filtering out the irrelevant parts.

For example, in mastering a skill like spelling, it’s possible to distinguish between helpful contextual experiences and the core mechanics of the ability itself.

Modeling Without Direct Access

So how can we model someone when we can’t directly interact with them?

One NLP technique known as inside modeling leverages our natural, pre-conscious ability to empathize and imitate — similar to how we modeled people in childhood. A powerful approach within this framework is called Deep Trance Identification (DTI).

DTI typically requires a facilitator and involves mentally stepping into the model’s identity. The process unfolds as follows:

1. Induce a trance state using Time Line Therapy and mentally travel back to the point before your own birth.
2. Step into the identity of the person you want to model, just for a short duration.
3. Experience the world as they would, particularly when they are engaged in the skill or behavior you wish to learn.
4. Interact with your guide, who speaks to you as if you are the model, prompting you to describe how you perform the skill or what you focus on.
5. Return to your personal timeline, re-integrating with your own identity.
6. Reflect with your guide on what insights or new understandings emerged during the experience.

Before attempting this, it’s important to:

• Establish a firm connection with your own identity (a “lifeline”).
• Clearly define what aspects of the model’s behavior or skill you want to adopt.
• Set boundaries to avoid absorbing unhelpful or irrelevant traits.

Are you truly becoming that person? No. Are you having their actual experience? Not exactly. But thanks to the brain’s mirror neuron system — the same system that enables empathy — your unconscious mind can absorb a surprising amount of information through observation and imagination.

In my own experiences with inside modeling, I’ve gained powerful insights. For example, when I modeled a skilled trainer, I began perceiving the audience in terms of “cool spots” — areas that needed more engagement. I can’t say for certain whether the trainer actually thought this way, but the mental framework helped me improve my own performance. My unconscious had likely picked up subtle cues that my conscious mind had overlooked.